14 months ago I talked alot about writing a book, well still no book- I do have a 10mo old son to show for it though, so at least I haven’t been totally idol. Really though once again I’ve been beating myself up for not spending time writing. Forget all about my grand book idea, now I’m just bummed that I’m not keeping up with the events of motherhood. As I’m writing this Dalton is sitting in his highchair which should buy me another few minuets and Dakota was outside playing in the mud (we got a ton of rain today and my little girl loves a good storm just like her mommy). She has come back inside and is mad at a toy camera for singing instead of making the click sound. The house is once again a total disaster and I have been putting off cleaning it, therefore it will just get even messier. This of course leads me to feel depressed and trapped in my own home. I also tend to feel like a giant FAILURE during these times. I must be a bad wife and a bad mother and a bad woman because I can’t keep the mail sorted, the carpet vacuumed, the dishes clean or the laundry folded. Even as I type this I can feel my blood pressure climbing just thinking about the mess and that I’m doing this instead of cleaning.
Enough of this “oh poor me BS”. It’s time to focus on the
two people who make everything better (at least most the time). Dakota is
almost 3 and Dalton will be 1 in October. Time has flown by and I can’t get
over my disappointment that Dalton won’t be a baby for much longer. I just
adore these two. First off let’s talk about Dakota: She started pre-school just
last month. What a huge emotional roller coaster that was for me. When I
dropped her off she went straight inside and looked around. She had a nervous
look on her face but she had been there during the tour and during the info
meeting so she was familiar with the class room. I stepped inside and yelled my
goodbye to her. I got a small smile for my efforts, but she was too absorbed
with checking out the other kids to pay me much attention. I walked back to the
car carrying Dalton. I made it to the rear end of my car before I started
sobbing. Not just crying, but sobbing. I felt so ALONE without her. I felt like
she had just grown up in less than 15 seconds. I held tight to Dalton and got
myself under control. Luckily Julie was available to talk my ear off for the
next 2 hours. Her teacher Miss Monica says she loves Tues and Thurs because she
knows Dakota will run into the room and say “HI ONICA!”. Miss Misty (our head teacher) says that Dakota
is their little cheerleader/helper/shadow. She follows them around telling them
“Come on Miss Misty, Come on Onica let’s go!” I love to pull out her folder and
look over her art projects and papers that come home with her. I am not ashamed
to admit that I have every single one of those papers filed away. She is
stubborn and funny and loves animals and has a vivid imagination. Lately that
imagination is making bed time a trial sometimes because she comes out of her
room to tell us that there is a monster in her bed. We think this is part
imagination and part a genius plan to postpone bedtime. Watching Dakota play
with her brother is sometimes an amazing joy and also the bane of my existence.
In the same 15 minuet time frame she can be the worst big sister and is pushing
her brother and yelling “NO IT’S MY TOY”
then she is saying “Hi Handsome” and telling me Dalton wants to play and she is
going to share. She has an awesome ability to crack her brother up. She also
makes me laugh out loud all the time. She is communicating with me more and
more every day. If you would have told me 3 months ago she would be speaking in
complete sentences and would know all her colors and describing objects by
their colors I wouldn’t have believed you. I just looked up to discover her
holding a handful of dry spaghetti which I made her give back to me. I told her
she could have one and she told me “I don’t want one, I want lots of ones”. Oh
yes this is my daughter, won’t just be happy with one she wants them all or
none at all. This is a perfect example of that stubbornness (let’s call it a
strong will) that Graeme and I have the opportunity to help guide.
Dalton is my little love bug, also called my attachment
baby. He is just a bundle of giggles and he has an adventurous nature (as long
as he knows mommy will rescue him). He is a much more difficult baby than
Dakota was but he is also offering to me his heart wrapped up in his big grin
and big brown eyes so it makes up for it. He is my super nurser and eater. This
child will eat the world if we let him. The funny thing is he is still such a
little guy. His last weigh in put him in the 10th percentile. I love
to nurse this little guy. He looks at me mid nursing to smile around a mouth
full of boob, it just melts my heart. He loves to be held in the baby sling on
my hip so he can see everyone around him but not be taken from me. As long as
he has easy access to a boob and doesn’t have to be passed around to friends
and family he is an easy going baby. Oh but he does have a temper and wants
what he wants when he wants it! His sister may be strong willed but she is also
a patient person. Dalton doesn’t seem to have a patient bone in his little
body. You can even see it in the way he crawls. He is super fast and loves to
chase Dakota around the house. He will crawl full speed at me and try to climb
me to have a quick snack. I love to watch him attack daddy when he gets home
from work. Dalton will speed crawl and then stand up using Graeme’s legs then
start to try and climb his legs. He will yell at him until daddy finally picks
him up. I am waiting (a little
impatiently) for him to start walking. He will pull himself up to a standing
position (sometimes while nursing) but has no interest in actually walking. If
you try and hold his hands and walk behind him he immediately sits down to start
crawling. I do know that his time will come. He is trying to wave though and is
slowly putting that action into use when I tell him hi. He also has some great
hand eye coordination. Graeme loves to use him as a baby crane, putting him
upside down and letting Dalton pick a toy up from the ground. He’s been
sleeping through the night since he was around 7mo old (Thank GOD! I never
thought he would). At his 6 month appointment his doctor recommended letting
him just cry it out but I knew that wouldn’t work for this baby. I told her we
would give him another month or so to figure out that he didn’t need to eat in
the middle of the night and sure enough a month later he was sleeping. He has
even got to the point that I no longer need to nurse him to sleep. Last week
was one of the best bed times ever. I was in the recliner nursing him and he
started laughing at me and flirting and smiling. He would just stop nursing and
start giggling like I was tickling him. I tried to get him to nurse a bit more
but he just wanted to play. So I told him good night and laid him in his crib.
He laughed a bit more then took his pacifier into his mouth, turned over and
got comfy. I closed the door and didn’t hear a peep out of him until 7am the
next morning. Now that is my kind of bedtime! Some parents may swear by the cry
it out method but I much prefer the giggle it out method. I am sad that
babyhood is ending and that he will be a toddler very soon but I’m also looking
forward to see his personality blossom and develop.
I know one thing, my house is dirty, but my home is full of
love and happiness and laughter!
No comments:
Post a Comment